Badfic!

Badfic!

The bad fic and other writing-related ramblings of one Alis Dee.

Alis also draws bad art, which she posts to ShockBOX!. Her original series is *sfaj, but you're probably here for Rabbit Heart (or its meta). You can find her other fic at the AO3, and you can find her elsewhere on Tumblr as alisdee.

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[Fanfic: Avengers] Y2h0aG9u 3/?

Gods, they hadn’t checked it. Hadn’t been down to the lab since she’d bought Luke back from the airport. It was just space noise, it’d either be there or it wouldn’t, and they were recording every minute of it anyway. No point being there just to be there. They were going to look at it tomorrow, her and Luke. Try and figure it out.

Hey. Did I mention “Y2h0aG9u” is kinda a cosmic horror space zombie story? Because it totes is.

So I needed someone to do Computer Stuff in this chapter and sadly Jane had already established herself as “not Neo from the Matrix”. Sorry Jane. Maybe Loki took a GPEN bootcamp or something.

I also shoot Loki a lot in this series. I’m sure he’s getting sick of it by now. (Har har what are you going to do about it, Mr. Fictional? I’M AN AUTHOR I DO WHAT I WANT!)

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[Fanfic: Avengers] Y2h0aG9u 2/?

It was the eyes, she thought. Wide and astonished, blinking up at her behind thick-framed glasses and a curtain of messy dark hair. Well, that and the t-shirt. White text on black proclaiming that What Happens in the BLACK HOLE… …stays in the BLACK HOLE. There was a picture and everything.

So I hope you guys like identity porn! Because here’s 4,700 words of it! With dialogue. A lot of dialogue. So much dialogue OMG.

Funfax this episode: That t-shirt is, indeed, real. As is the Viking fondness for chess and tafl. Whether or not dice were used in tafl is also a Big Question in History, mostly because we don’t actually have a full ruleset for Hnefatafl that’s survived. Meaning no-one knows how it’s played, exactly, which is why the rules are glossed over here. And I made up the bit about the dice.

I spent an inordinately long amount of time Googling to see whether it is, in fact, feasible to flick the top of a beer bottle off one-handed with a thumb. Cue people coming in to tell me Heinekens have twist-tops. Oi.

Also: Apparently California does have river salmon. Way to ruin my previously great opening there, nature!

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[Fanfic: Avengers] Y2h0aG9u 1/?

They weren’t looking for aliens. Nowadays, no-one was. SETI had officially gone from quixotic dream to a terrifying liability six years ago, the day all of humanity had woken up to learn that, not only was it not alone, but that there were things out there that weren’t friendly. Not in the least.

Brain-bleach! Teaser for the actual “Epilogue” sequel. FWIW I do not actually intend to continue posting this in 1,000 word snippets; think of this as the “before the opening credits” bit of the episode.

Also! Not in second person. Wow. Amazing.

Apologies in advance to all astrophysicists (I know… quite a few, actually). Also, Jane now has a PhD, which I don’t believe she did in the film. Because fuck you that’s why.

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[Fanfic: Avengers] Eight Months of Luke

Shortly thereafter, you’re alone. So you pace your new cell, smaller than your old one. A porthole offers a view of the night sky, and you try not to look into its gaping black maw. There are things out there that look back. One day, they will find you. It will benefit you to have allies when they do.

This is… I guess what counts as slice-of-life fluff in the ALIMoM-verse?

So if you were paying attention during “Epilogue”, you may have noticed it mentions Loki spending about one year underground and about three years living in D.C. Which leaves about one year unaccounted for in the timeline. So here it is. One year has officially become eight months, mostly so the title to this can reference Eight Days of Luke, the greatest children’s book of all time (if you haven’t read it, shame on you).

This is not actually the sequel I originally had planned for “Epilogue”. This is just lighthearted (?) one-shot filler I wrote while making myself sit through Thor (it’s been painful, I have to watch it in small stretches) so I can write the actual sequel I actually wanted to. That one will have a lot more stabbing in it, I swear.

EtA: Oh yeah. As of this, ALIMoM is officially decoupled from its crossover origins (aw). The Word of God handwave for Coulson not being dead can now be summed up as… he’s not dead (read: Fury lied). Because fuck you that’s why. Coulson is awesome.

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[Fanfic: Avengers] Epilogue 5/5

Your life is like unto a comedy of errors. That is, in the human definition of comedy which, near as you can ascertain, appears to primarily consist of unlikable simpletons making misery for themselves and everyone they encounter before somehow managing to walk away with all their hearts’ desire through no real effort of their own. Admittedly, you’re still working on the last part of your analogy, though you feel you’ve been getting better over the last few years. But still. Comedy. Of errors.

It’s finished! Yay! \o/

This chapter is literally twice as long as any other chapter in this fic, but that’s really because it’s actually two chapters spliced together and pacing? What the hell is pacing amirite?

Apologies in advance for my terrible knowledge of:

  1. psychiatry
  2. the physical layout of D.C. (kudos to Google Maps, however), and
  3. Old Norse (its conjugations are hard).

Thank you to everyone who not only stuck with “Epilogue” for all 17,500 words of second person POV, but apparently like… liked it? Or something?

Since this ic is at least 70% the fault of Random, he gets a gender-flipped-named-after cameo in this chapter as the doctor. Her first name is Jessica.

Super bonus OST information: This chapter bought to you by me listening to “Tik Tok Together” on repeat.

Final director’s cut information: Jólhvalr means, literally, “Christmas whale”. Because that’s the kind of terrible writer I am. You’re welcome.

Let’s finish this @ AO3 →