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Comments for 'Butterfly'

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Sue (2nd January, 2010 @ 10:52 pm)

This is wonderful. I was talking to twinsarein from livejournal about tenses and she mentioned that she'd read a "fabulous one and here's the link" (paraphrased, but I'm sure you get the gist).

And she's right. I love the voice of this, the progression. You fixed two of the things in Smallville canon: Jonathon and Belle Reve. Jonathon's characterization on the show, the writers' refusal to allow him to be the man he should have been... gah. You've written as I feel he should have been.

The title and the idea, the butterfly moments that affect changes that ripple on for years and years... a lovely concept well played.

Alis' Reply:
Thank you!

The second-person was always going to be a gamble but I ended up liking the way it worked here (if I do say so myself oh ho ho). Nowadays, though, I struggle with not having my internal story monologue writing itself in this tense! Very annoying. >_<
svmadelyn (11th October, 2009 @ 10:14 pm)

I really adored this - and wish we'd gotten this Jonathan on the show. How much happier everyone would've been! Anyway, lovely story.
Talitha78 (11th October, 2009 @ 9:51 pm)

Wow, what a great story. Thanks for sharing!
Oliver95 (26th September, 2009 @ 3:43 am)

Yes, I too came to read this via twinsarein and her rec. It is so good and what a great Jonathan, one not too different if only he'd thought a tiny bit more and perhaps taken a few more risks. Lex and Lionel can't have got where they did without planning and forethought and you've just realised this and then written about it so carefully using the Kents' talents as well. I read it over breakfast and it was a great start to the day, thanks. David
rednihilist (29th August, 2009 @ 2:15 am)

twinsarein rec'd this story on her lj, and I'm glad I followed her over here. This is one of those bittersweet stories I instantly bookmark and then proceed to re-read on a semi-monthly basis (at least). I look at the amazing story you tell here, and then I think of the show and. . . I really wish we'd seen your version up on screen for several reasons (not least of which is because of the Clex). Jonathan Kent here, in this piece, is an actual *chracter*, not just some stereotype that changes year to year. Clark is all the best of Superman-yet-to-come and that naive, noble kid we saw in the first couple seasons. The way you wrote Martha surprised me too because even though she's not featured as often as Clark, Lex, or Jonathan the narrator, her presence permeates the whole story.

Lionel is shown for the petty, exaggerated buffoon he always was (and should have always stayed) and I really enjoyed hating the bastard. Ah, good times.

Your story's a lovely and well-crafted blend of the show's plots and very original twists and turns. It's almost like you took the series and just changed a few details, then wrote down what happened. Only, it's better, because things follow one another and make sense. There's a pattern and path to the events here, and you should be very proud of this.

Congratulations on a superb piece of fiction! I am so incredibly jealous of your talent, and now I'm going to check out your other stories and end up adoring them too!

Alis' Reply:
Thank you!

I took a couple of, I guess, risks in "Butterfly" (Jonathan being so lolariously OoC, for one, and the second-person narration for two) and it's pure unabashed idfic. I still wanted to make the characters work, however, and I'm glad it seems like I've managed that.

It's almost like you took the series and just changed a few details

Heh. My explicit change was, "Jonathan is not a cockbag." (i.e. more like Pa Kent of comic-canon). Also: Random slash. Because I can!
jakrar (19th January, 2009 @ 6:04 pm)

This is absolutely lovely! I can just see Jonathan deciding to use Lex to strike back at Lionel, only to fall into his own trap once he's seen the side of Lex he had always closed his eyes to before. The only thing that struck me wrong in this story was Lex confessing that he'd hired Nixon to investigate Clark, when in fact he hired Nixon to investigate the bridge accident -- not Clark himself -- and immediately warned Nixon away from Clark when the physical evidence turned out to point in Clark's direction.

Alis' Reply:
Lolcanon.

when in fact he hired Nixon to investigate the bridge accident

I think I could kinda argue semantics on this one. Lex knows Clark is involved in the bridge thing somehow, and wants to know how; even if he doesn't explicitly point Nixon in that direction initially (maybe hoping there's something else going on, maybe just overwhelmed by raw curiosity). I think he only has a change of heart when it occurs to him in retrospect that he's exposed Clark and Clark's family to someone really dangerous.

To me, I guess the "point" of Lex has always been someone who leaps before looking; he wants what he wants (to know what happened), when he wants it (now), and screw anyone who says otherwise (Clark). Early-SV!Lex occasionally looks back -- and tries to do the twist in mid-air -- which is what I think goes on with Nixon. I guess in my head the only thing that changes Lex from an antihero to a villain is when he forces himself to stop doing that, and to start ploughing on ahead regardless.

I admit it's a characterisation difference. Some people see Lex as a good guy who goes bad; to me he's a "bad" guy who gives up trying to be good.

It's a fair point, though. It'd probably be worth re-jigging the scene a bit, but... meh. I plough on regardless, too.
LadyPhoenix (7th January, 2009 @ 10:07 pm)

I just loved this story. Jonathan as the first person describing everything as it goes on, it gives such insight to the man and the decisions he makes. It just tugged at my heart time and time again and it's going in my favorites so I can visit it often. Thank you for writing such a beautiful story.

Alis' Reply:
Thank you for enjoying it.
Jen (7th January, 2009 @ 7:00 pm)

I loved this so much, starting when Jonathan comes up with such a brilliant scheme to get back at Lionel. Then when Lex figures out his original motives, he shows his best side by leveling with Lex. I love that this Lex was better prepared when taking on Lionel: that prevented a lot of grief. And then the way, Jonathan deals with Clark then Lex's not so surprising revelations. Brilliant, brilliant!

Alis' Reply:
I remember when I first saw "Jitters", the reaction I've given Jonathan here was, like, so glaringly obvious. Early-season Lex is so desperately looking for someone to be loyal to, he'd be (and was) very easy for the right person to manipulate, which is what Jonathan is doing here. It's "good" manipulation (because it works out well), but it's manipulative all the same.

I also like the fact that despite this being a "happily ever after" sort of a story, it still leaves the potential for a Rift (q.v. the fact at the end, where Lex is obviously going to try and talk to Jor-El about Sageeth with or without Clark's cooperation, and Jonathan's recognition of Lex's dangerousness). I think it'd be a truer Rift than the one in the show, too, since it really would be a vicious betrayal on Lex's part towards the family that's been very good to him (there's too much in SV's Rift that feels like Clark is the one in the wrong, IMO).

But that's just me rambling a bit. I'm glad you liked!
BradyGirl_12 (7th January, 2009 @ 6:54 pm)

Wow! Outstanding story! I loved everyone inthis, but especially Jonathan! That's the Jonathan Kent of legend!

I always enjoy stories in which Lex becomes part of the Kent family. Destiny, for certain!

Alis' Reply:
They're my favourite, too; I'm a sucker for a Jonathan+Lex father/son story, but they're so rare!

So I wrote my own.
Enigma (7th January, 2009 @ 6:32 pm)

This was one the best Smallville Clex stories I've ever read. It's nice to see that there are still authors out there writing Clex. If only we could see some real live Clex in the series, life would be perfect.

Alis' Reply:
Heh. I'm actually pretty glad Lex is out of SV. I have to admit my "personal canon" of the show ends at about S4/5, so...

Viva antihero!Lex.